4 Ways to Be Present for Yourself and Others by Joy Jones
TIP : 4 Ways to Be Present for Yourself and Others
Recently when we were graced with a rare hot, clear San Franciscan day, my family and I headed to our spot along Ocean Beach for a picnic dinner. At sunset, just like every other day we have dinner together, we all went around and said what we were most grateful for that day. My almost 2 year old yells “Jackieeee” and smiles at her sister. I respond with something along the lines of “I am grateful for all my girls”, as I looked at my two daughters…And Jackie, my 6 years old, yells “GIRL PROBLEMS” with excitement and leaping with joy.
I share this to say, I would not be where I am or who I am without the orb of women who have guided, mentored, mothered, and loved me through all aspects of life. It has been the community of women who have provided me with everything that I have ever wanted and so much more than I ever knew I needed.
My name is Joy Jones, as a woman, mother, auntie, sister, amiga, teacher, surfer, singer, writer, reader; I am here for you.
Parenthood, auntiehood, sisterhood is a sacred and integral part of our being. There is a deep well of belonging and connection through these elements of life. We create, birth, sustain, and celebrate life. However time and the distortions. ofour modern society have separated us from ourselves, our families, and our people.
Most of us are living in fear, mistrust, judgement, and doubt of each other and our own strength, intuition, and ability. We are the most connected as we have ever been through technology, yet so many of us are alone and isolated. This is the opposite of how we were meant to live and raise children in our society, communities, and families. We are meant to be present, to collaborate, to lean on each other, and to acknowledge and communicate our personal needs while also learning and listening to others.
So the question is, how do I live in the deep, meaningful well of life when it feels stressful, overwhelming, and unconnected? What does it mean to find the light in the present? How do I live in service to myself and others?
These four ways are how I live in my best self and parenthood.
1) LEAD WITH LOVE – How is my action/word/reaction going to be of service to the other person? Deep within our being is a love for life, connection, and togetherness. Love is our dreams, our desires, and our purpose. When we can tap into the depths of what we love, our gifts, values, and reasons to live cannot be contained anymore. We shift from surviving life to living life; not because someone else told me but because it comes from within. When my children are finding it hard to be, I tap into the love I have for them by asking, “How can I show them love when they are screaming at me?” “How can I show them the love I have for myself when they are not showing me love?” This helps to ground me so I do not lash out in anger or frustration. In the end, I can’t control my children, I can only control myself.
2) BE STILL – Do I have one single breath to spare? Routines, schedules, and calendars can dictate our lives but we do not have to be tied to the hour, minute, or second. We can find ways to live in our truth by simply being still and listening to what we need. This may sound too simple to be true, but it is true. By being still we are listening to how we want to spend our time. When listening, it provides a sense of what we need, not just want, to find what matters most in my day. Just one single breath in with intention and then out with the unwanted energy….this is all we need to start with.
3) CREATE INTENTIONS – What do I want for myself and my family? Think of intentions as our roadmap to the destination we are trying to get to.The intentions that we set are the keys to be present and to fully find joy and peace within ourselves, our children, our partner, and the spaces around us. Intentions help us become more mindful, bringing awareness to mind, body, and soul. Mostly, intentions focus on WHO we are as a person, not just want we can do. It empowers and strengthens us to be me. I start by saying out loud how I intend to live my day, and even more simply how I want to live each moment. “I intend to start my meeting with curiosity,” or, “I intend to be present when I play with my children.”
4) CONNECT – We are a species that is wired to connect within ourselves, with others, and with nature. Finding the time, people, and spaces that sparks a light in my spiritual self is the true meaning of connection. These relationships build trust to be able to act and serve from the heart, creating purpose and connection. By finding time to be outside for a walk or working from the garden helps me find true connection. It doesn’t have to be hours either. Ten minutes in company with fresh air can truly do wonders.
With something as simple as having a meal together and asking one question, we can live our lives with love, stillness, intention, and connection.
If this resonates with you and you are called to explore and learn more about living in your true light and purpose, visit Joy Jones Coaching and sign up for a complimentary 30 minute session. We are a community on this journey together. I am here for you.